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Class 6(66)

Judas Priest: Screaming for vengeance

23/04/10  ||  Altmer

Introduction

Once upon a time, there was heavy metal. In these days, heavy metallers didn’t wear corpsepaint yet. There were no death grunts, no blastbeats, and Venom had only just sprung into existence. In these days, the old school reigned supreme, and one of those bands from the Olde Schoole of Metal Craft was the English outfit of Judas Priest. Known for such classics of “Victim of Changes in my Sexuality”, “Sin after Sin”, and “Stained Ass”, 1982 would see the release of an album that would NOT change the world forever, but alter it into a state of permanent homo. Love, peace, anal sex, revenge on your lover with another guy, and riding down the highway on a Harley – that’s Judas Priest. That’s this album. And if you think I’m wrong – well, you’ve “got another thing comin’”.

Songwriting

8. Pretty standard fare for the time, but there’s a lot of catchy choruses to be found, and a lot of pretty hooky riffs. Heavy this is not, not compared to what came after, but it’s meaty enough to warrant a good score. Also, Halford is one amazing ass of a vocalist. This means that every chorus has the penises swinging in unison to the music. You’ll feel a lot gayer to these songs, but that’s just a testament to how good they are. Catchy, well-done heavy metal – sign me up. The only downside there’s a few syrupy ballads, which drops the score here down one point, but not enough for me to hate this album.

Production

8. They have money, they have good musicians. The guitars sound very old-school, but with the reissue this was obviously improved. Drums sound organic and good. One good thing about old-school productions – it doesn’t sound ProTooled, Cubased, FX’d as hell. Instruments sound like instruments here. I dig the sound actually, even though it’s very 80s and dated by today’s standards. It’s not as meaty as the Painkiller riffs, but this is more of a heavy, not a speed metal album. It fits the sound like a glove.

Guitars

10. If you don’t give Downing/Tipton a 10 you are deaf. This is a classic guitar tandem, workin’ the beautiful dual harmonies, soloing melodically, making your penis swing with the flow of the songs. Swoosh, swoosh, axes kaboosh, swoosh, swoosh, dwiddly dwiddly dee – these guitars, they love me. Good riffs, excellent lead playing, and an inspiration to every fuck that picked up a guitar before 1990. 90% of bands sound the way they do because once upon a time, their penises swung like the axes of Downing and Tipton. An inspiration to bands after them as well, even bands like Iron Maiden.

Vocals

10. Halford is a legend, and if you say anything else, you deserve to be shot in the knees with a rusty shotgun. A quite simply iconic vocalist with a set of pipes…yeah, ok, not gonna go there, but you know this guy is wonderful with his mouth. Ehum. Anyway, this is fantastic shit, and he really transforms songs from decentish into fantastic with his voice. Even though it’s gay.

Bass

7. There is bass. I know there is, but Ian Hill is a silent member. I think he’s the quintessential bassist – keeps everything together without showing off. He doesn’t miss a beat, he’s precise like clockwork – he is criminally underrated. Not very flashy of course, playing-wise (live is a different story) but fantastic enough to be a rock solid foundation.

Drums

8 I prefer Scott Travis in Judas Priest, more faster double bass work tickles this young man’s goat in all the right spots, but Dave “The Pederast” Holland is a good drummer anyways. I’m not a drummer so I can’t fill you in on “well he is really good at hitting the toms in Pain and Pleasure” or whatever, but he grooves the songs home, so I fucken dig it. Pity he liked to touch little kids, he should have learned from Halford – only be a sexual deviant with grown-ups. You’ll get discriminated by morons either way, but the second option puts you in jail!

Lyrics

6 Homo as fuck. When they’re talking about Riding on the Wind it’s fine, but the absolutely retarded lyrics of “(Take These) Chains” or “Pain and penis” make me want to throw up in a bucket. Fantastically awful. It’s ok though, we know Halford is an ass-inheriter, so we forgive him. Fuck, I’m glad we can blame the gayness of this album on some genuine homosexuality – it suddenly makes all the cheese tolerable.

“Electric Eye” has classic lyrics though, that one is amazing.

Cover art

4. I don’t really like it, I prefer the landscapey photoshop of today to this 80s cut-and-paste job. Actually most JP covers are shit. This one is no different. Even “Painkiller” has a better cover than this. I guess “British Steel” is worse, though. I don’t like how Miffy-style the completely yellow background looks. It’s like they took a yellow piece of paper, glued an eagle on it that had a vaguely metallic sheen, and left.

Logo

8 Classic logo, I don’t think you’ll find anything more iconic than this. It just completely represents heavy metal.

Booklet

6 Standard, folded with all the lyrics (did I mention folding is dumb) and notes on who plays the solos. By that you can tell it’s a Judas Priest album immediately – solo notifications. I just wish it didn’t look so yellow. I don’t like yellow.

Overall and ending rant

If you don’t have this album, don’t call yourself a metalhead. This is what founded all of our lives – it’s almost entirely Judas Priest’s fault we have solos in metal. This is where it didn’t start out, but this album broke new ground back in the day – and it has a collection of amazing songs and choruses to boot. It’s not my favourite classic JP album (that’s “Painkiller”) but this would come in second with a big margin over most other albums they’ve done. Priest’s discography is very hit and miss, but this is a metal hit deluxe and a must-have for any fan.

And it’s completely homo enough to make your penis swing secretly during any playthrough.

8,5

  • Information
  • Released: 1982
  • Label: Columbia Records
  • Website: www.judaspriest.com
  • Band
  • Rob Halford: vocals
  • Glen Tipton: guitars
  • KK Downing: guitars
  • Ian Hill: bass
  • Dave Holland: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. The Hellion
  • 02. Electric Eye
  • 03. Riding on the Wind
  • 04. Bloodstone
  • 05. (Take These) Chains
  • 06. Pain and Pleasure
  • 07. Screaming for Vengeance
  • 08. You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’
  • 09. Fever
  • 10. Devil’s Child
  • 11. Prisoner of Your Eyes (bonus track on 2001 reissue)
  • 12. Devil’s Child (live) (bonus track on 2001 reissue)

Class 6(66) -reviews

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